Why is online dating so hard for guys? Stuck in stereotypes, unspoken rules, and hefty expectations, men find it quite challenging to land suitable dates. Here we are not talking about hookups because that doesn’t seem to be a problem. Instead, our focus is more on serious or long-term relationships that are usually hard to attain, irrespective of gender or platform.
It is a misconception that dating is a breeze for most guys, whereas, in reality, 90 percent of the men struggle in this department. We will be discussing the reasons online dating is so hard for men. As well as share some ideas to lower the difficulty level and start seeing some success in the online dating field.
5 Reasons why is online dating so hard for guys:
1. The struggle to match a perfect gentleman’s image
Men are considered as beings who cannot express their genuine emotions. Where the world was busy making women bound to homes, it was also building a rugged, relatively unbreakable, and toxic image for men. Men are only allowed to fall under types you can count on your fingers. Either they can be players, gentlemen, softies, useless, or outright villains.
Men who talk about their vulnerabilities and feelings are rejected the very next second. Similarly, men who keep to themselves are considered rude and snobbish. Women are looking for nice guys but feel only attracted to bad ones. When the bad ones ditch the idea of commitment, women get heartbroken and label all men as the same. The irony! Basically, none of the types succeed in their dating journey.
Men have to stick to their pattern and behave ‘manly’ (read: emotionless, strong, and independent). A slight change and a train of rejection and judgment precede them. So, how to go about it? The best way to deal with stereotypes is by breaking the pattern and loops men are forced to obey.
2. Outdated formula to win over women
Men are happy being with anyone as long as their needs are met. This statement completely disintegrates any standards that men might have towards their prospective partners. While there has been a shift, that shift is widely materialistic. The internet has fed so much nonsense on how to win over a woman a whole lot of men find themselves misguided.
If she smiles, she likes you. If she keeps her hand on your shoulder, she wants you to kiss her, etc. But we know this is some utter BS. If you really think about it, the outdated formula to bag women is also related to the stereotypes men have been placed in. As the ‘breadwinner’ and the ‘better’ gender, men are never taught to realize that attraction and relationships can be complex matters.
There is no one size fits all formula here to woo a woman you like. As every individual is different, so are their likings and disliking. So instead of going the generic way, try to learn how to approach her respectfully. For example, some areas to start with are reading her body language, learning how to communicate with women, and, more importantly, assessing her interests in men.
3. Unrealistic expectations
There are a million unwritten rules and heightened expectations that men are supposed to follow. Firstly, regardless of the type of relationship, the general idea is for men to be initiators. And not just in proposing for a date but also in planning the dates, making all the right moves, and in most cases paying for them too. And it is not easy to deal with so much pressure, especially in those early phases of online dating.
Secondly, women want men to work for their attention. They don’t consider a guy an option if he is unwilling to get the moon and stars for her. I agree that men should do something special to grab her attention, but women playing hard to get every time are becoming obsolete and overrated.
Lastly, men are pitted against each other all the time. Materialism and its roots are over the roof for men. A better car, a better house, and a better salary decide a man’s worth. So, when a guy likes a woman, he knows he has to better himself because many can court her. This constant pressure and competitiveness can take a toll on a man’s self-esteem, ultimately making dating even harder.
4. Lack of communication skills
Well, most men lack in this sector. Talking and communicating free-hand is not their best trait. In comparison, women are the goddesses of communication. This difference is enough to make dating a giant battle for men. There was a video that went viral a few years back. It talks about how men’s and women’s brains are wired differently.
Evidently so, because men are constantly questioning and double-checking themselves in their brains to see if their responses are remotely appropriate for the questions asked. That’s why you will see many memes about men being absent-minded and quiet most of the time.
The ideal solution is for men to start communicating more and work on social skills. This will improve their chances of succeeding in online dating, P.S., which solely relies on how they communicate with others.
5. Money-moves
This is no secret that men are expected to be rich and well-settled to secure a good standing in society, including matches online. Most women prefer taking their relationship forward with a match that will be able to support them financially. For as long as we can remember, men have been programmed to be the household’s breadwinners and women to be the caretaker.
Even though the number of women who work has gone up by the same amount, the same thing is still very clear. It is considered a dating ethic for men to pay and bear the cost of the relationship. But not every guy earns handsomely to support himself and the added expenses of having a partner. And given the cost of living today, this is brutal for men’s pockets.
Our society doesn’t seem to digest that. If a man cannot make money moves, then he ain’t it. Women base a large portion of their preferences on the man’s financial standing. That’s why men may be able to score some matches in online dating if we are willing to share the cost and work towards making a brighter future together rather than bankrupting the guy. Otherwise, the chances of success are slim.
Take Away
According to popular opinion, men may have everything easy, but online dating isn’t one of them. Although there are numerous reasons why online dating has grown in popularity, success is not unattainable. With the right attitude, communication skills, and smart tactics by your side, you can also find love online. Maybe the best way to get over it is to learn how to handle with online dating stages.
The problem of “too many alternatives” is one of the trickiest issues in the world of online dating. There appear to be millions of women available for guys that just need to pick from. When it comes to reality, there aren’t a large number of women who are accessible, meet our needs, and are also interested and ready to get to know us. it guys will understand this issue, and will try to successes with each much – the difficulty’s will disappear.
– Use good, varied photos that include multiple angles of photography, alone, with friends, full body and profile photography.
– Write specifically what you are looking for.
– Don’t compromise on qualities that are important to you because you have a match with an attractive woman. For example: don’t go out with a smoker if you hate smoking.
– Compromise on criteria of physical appearance, height, hair color, eye color, etc. Your next love can come in a completely different look from your expectations.
– Give opportunities to partners with whom you have good communication.
Do not play games – you received a message, answer at that moment.
– Do not come with judgmental perceptions towards potential partners.
– Enjoy the process and make the other party enjoy being with you.
– Be open to meeting different people
– Even if you don’t receive any requests – don’t lose your confidence and the hope that you will find love.
Khizra Khan is a Top3 writer who specializes in blogging and social media marketing. She successfully manages her online blog: Ray-Zee, as well as writes for multiple other brands as a freelancer. Head to her site to learn more about her area of work and expertise
