Finding a match on dating apps might feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. Among the many available dating applications, Tinder is one of the most widely used to find a partner.
Tinder has a negative image for favoring superficial hookups and flings over real, long-term relationships. Contrary to popular belief, it was created to help users connect with like-minded neighbors. With more than 75 million active users at the moment, this software has not only expanded the pool of candidates but also allowed them to perhaps find the one they’ve been waiting for all along. After reading that, it is natural for you to want to draw a connection between Tinder and a committed relationship. Hence the question:
Is Tinder perfect for serious dating?
10 tips for finding a partner on Tinder…
So here is what you need to do to minimize heartache and improve your love-finding expedition:
1. Be ready to find a partner
The very step towards finding a partner online is getting mentally ready yourself. Although it may sound cliché, the reality of the dating world will reflect your true beliefs and attitude. If deep down, you believe that finding your person won’t be possible on Tinder, then you will end up with people who will only waste your time or have different intentions.
Similarly, stepping into this online world while being confident that you will find a diamond in the rough will stimulate you into taking the right step, eventually leading you to the right person. So you see, it is the way you think and feels about online dating that will shape the possibility of you stumbling upon the partner of your dreams, or not.
2. Let them see the real you
Superficial, fake, and catfishing are synonymous with Tinder. People on the app are skeptical about whether they are chatting with a real person or someone opposite of what they have set up. Likewise, your main profile picture is your first introduction to the people swiping left and right a thousand times a day. What you show in that picture will translate your intention moving forward.
If you are on a quest to find a partner, you might have to tone down the sexiness. Pictures with girls in a bikini or shirtless guys flexing their abs are perfect for getting dates that last less than a day, but they won’t be sufficient to pull the ones looking for something more serious and long-term. So don’t hide your face and post a beautiful yet accurate picture of yourself to attract the real gems.
3. One-liners are outdated
Most people on Tinder are experts at using one-liners as an opening message for every single profile they slide into. While there is nothing wrong with using those one-liners, it can be a bit repetitive. Also, people can tell if you wrote it for them or have been copy-pasting the same in every chat window.
Instead of using the same openers for everyone, try making an effort to notice the profile you like. Take note of something in their profile that pops up to you. It can be their picture, something interesting in the bio, or something familiar. Then draft a small message that is written specifically for them. People who are not into a serious relationship might ignore your effort, but those searching for a partner will soon hit you back with a reply.
4. Don’t be quick to judge or talk negatively about others
It is best to keep your bio as positive as possible. Talking about things bitterly will make you come across as someone who judges or criticize. The same goes for when chatting with people on Tinder. People are looking for a partner who is friendly and respectful. Nobody wants a soul mate that can’t be trusted.
Relationships are all about creating a safe space. How you deal with or talk about your past experiences, exes, or friends directly shows how you’ll be in the relationship with them or after. Therefore, try not to complain or explain everything in your life in a negative spotlight. At the same time, do not sugarcoat your life either. Maintain a balance and be mature about the things you share online.
5. Showcase a variety of interests
You are more likely to swipe right on someone who may seem to have similar interests as you. The same applies to your profile. To find a partner on Tinder, you have to showcase a variety of interests that others might connect with. Having shared interests will make it much easier for people to visualize a life with you.
Simultaneously, it is important to be your authentic self if you want to attract a like-minded and faithful partner. Set yourself for success and grab the opportunity to show your true personality. You can do this in the bio as well as by adding a variety of pictures. Plus, having multiple images of you in different locations is a great way to assure people that you are not a catfish and build trust.
6. Talk about them too, and not just about yourself
Not recognizing the person sitting across the screen is a buzzkill. Self-absorbed people often miss the chance to acknowledge others in the room. Similarly, the chat becomes monotonous if you keep talking about your life all the way through. This one-way communication has never worked for a single soul.
Instead of being self-centered, inquire about their passions, dreams, and goals. This will give them a chance to participate in the conversation actively, and you will have the opportunity to get to know them better.
7. Make the first move
Some people think messaging first comes off as too needy, shows vulnerability, and gives an upper hand to the other person. People with that mentality should be avoided anyways. You will get to know their mindset from the way and words they choose to reply.
Whereas, people with a sense of maturity appreciate such an initiative. Messaging first will increase your chances of finding the partner, and the messages from your side will act as an icebreaker. So, make the first move and find mature matches ready to lead a serious relationship.
8. Spot the red flags
Finding a partner online is a time-consuming and energy-draining job. You might start talking to someone who fits the bill of a perfect partner. After a few dates, you realize you have been ignoring red flags you should have watched out for. Precaution is so much better than cure. Even if they seem angelic, look out for signs of toxicity.
A few of the most common red flags are; making sexual references from the start, being cocky, using generic pickup lines, focusing just on your body and assets, and trying to overcompensate. You can spot the red flags even before you start chatting with them. Just look closely at their profile. Half-naked pictures, numerous bathroom selfies, or pictures that don’t even show their face are all red flags.
9. Spot the keepers
While we are at it, spotting the keepers is crucial. Conducting thorough research on your potential partner is something you must not forgo. As you swipe through the profile of your interest, make use of your detective skills and note details. From their pictures to who their pictures are with, the backdrops and surroundings, and the way they dress up. Everything in their profile says a lot about their priorities and maturity level.
This search is also beneficial to see if the other person shares the same hobbies as you or not. Try imagining your life with them based entirely on their profile. You will have your answer right there.
10. Look at your profile through the lens of the prospective partner
Have you tried judging your profile without any biases? Looking at others’ profiles on Tinder is so convenient and going left or right. But what about the profile you have created for others to see? Is your bio that amazing, or is it just a fragment of your mind that people see as fake or superficial?
Finding answers to these questions can be self-doubting, but if you are looking for a partner on Tinder, then you might as well look at your profile the same way you do with others. This exercise will let you know how people perceive your profile and how you can improve it to attract suitable matches.
Tinder is a game of numbers. The more people you talk to, the better your chances of finding the partner you have been looking for. But, it is easier said than done. Finding love on Tinder is a herculean task that will require you to be on the app for the most part. Plus, communicating with a dozen people at once is not practical.
Why not change the approach a little bit? Instead of swiping right non-stop, take a pause, look at the profile like we discussed in the article, and then process if swiping right is worth it. It may take time, patience, and trial and error, but you will find your partner on Tinder if you keep at it with the right strategies, tips, and tricks.
Best of Luck!